Sunday, March 22, 2015

5 easy ways to make your relationship stronger

1. Make your relationship better by addressing old issues

Fights, jealousy and previous misdemeanors upset our little bubble of romance and can make relationships a tricky minefield. If you find yourself constantly arguing over the same issues, or blowing up in anger over the smallest of triggers, it may be because you and your partner have not addressed some old issues. Next time this happens, try to stay calm and work out why you have reacted in this way. If you recognize that you are angry about something that has happened in the past it is time to be brave and sit down with your partner to discuss it. Try not to accuse them. Instead talk through the problem, being as clear as possible about the way you feel. Try to look them in the eyes, as this helps build trust and intimacy. Once you’ve talked through your feelings attempt to work out a solution together. Although it may take a long time to heal this unresolved issue, if you feel you cannot forgive the person, it may be time to walk away. These issues will only continue to repeat themselves. 

2. Make your relationship better by taking time out

Between going to work, keeping fit and doing chores, it can be difficult to find the time to spend some decent time with your partner. In the UK alone, a typical childless couple only spends an average of two and a half hours a day with their partner, and of that time nearly an entire hour is spent watching TV. If that sounds familiar it’s time to make some changes. Firstly, have a TV ban and take your partner on some dates. If you’re struggling for ideas, pretend that you are going on your first few dates. Where would you take a guy or girl to impress them; a romantic hillside spot for a picnic or a trendy bar to see a new band? Choose locations that allow you both to talk to one another and ideally that are new to you both. Sharing new experiences will help reinvigorate your love life and will bring you both closer together. Remember, these dates are all about fun, so enjoy it.

3. Make your relationship better by changing gender

The opposite sex can seem like a different species. Men and women have different habits, ideals and needs. Therefore it’s no surprise that we often find it difficult to get along with each other. The key to a good relationship is to understand that we are not alike. We will not always share the same attitudes or perspectives. So, the next time your guy tells you that you are overreacting, or your girl tells you that you don’t care, listen to them. Instead of exploding with rage at their idiocy, ask them why they think that and actually take what they say on board. You then need to explain, clearly and calmly, why you think otherwise. This is not to say that you should use their gender as an excuse when they treat you badly. However, trying to get into one another mindset and understanding why your partner acts in a certain way may help you overcome many nasty obstacles and end a lot of fights.

4. Make your relationship better by getting more sex

Sex can be a chore. After a long day at work do we really want someone getting hot and sweaty on us? We could have another 20 minutes in bed! Yet, the more we do it the more we want it. So at times, although it sounds very unromantic, it can be best to just power through and do it a few times a week. Once you’ve combated your reluctance, you’ll reap all of the benefits. Not only are there zillions of health perks to having regular sex, your relationship will also benefit. This is because when we have sex the love drug, Oxycontin, is released, which makes us build up a strong bond with the guy or girl we’re in bed with. It also promotes trust and makes us feel more generous towards one another. The best way to get more sex is to make sure you and your partner consider it to be a priority. Also try to find a time that suits you. If you get too tired to have sex before bed, try to do it in the morning or when you first get home.
   
5. Make your relationship better by spending time apart

Okay, we know that we are at risk of contradicting ourselves, but relationships are all about balance. So although you need to make sure you spend quality time together, it’s also not healthy to live in a two person love nest constantly.  Not only will your partner’s every move start to irritate you beyond belief, but boredom may begin to creep into your relationship. Having your own interests, social scene and hobbies will help keep you stimulated, balanced and healthy, and these qualities will inevitably also pass on into your relationship too. The trick to spending time apart is to agree with your partner how much “time off” you want to give each other. Once agreed, find something that excites you. This may be a holiday with friends, a charity challenge or training for a new event, like a 10k or marathon. Choose something that helps you develop as an individual as this will help you feel more independent and more interesting within yourself and your relationship.

Sunday, March 8, 2015

3 Ways To Mend A Broken Heart

When you and the person you love break up it can feel as though someone has driven a truck over your heart; repeatedly. You can’t eat, you can’t sleep and sometimes you even wonder if you can breathe. Yet, although mending a broken heart is not an easy task it can be done. These three tips should help you get over the love of your life and remove those tire marks from your heart.

Kick down the pedestal

When your relationship ends it can be very easy to forget all of those ways your ex drove you mad. All of those time when they patronized you, left the toilet seat up or nagged you about how much you saw your friends are soon forgotten when those three little words are spoken: ‘It is over’.

In order to mend your broken heart and get over your ex you need to kick down that pedestal that you have placed them on and remember all of the things that were wrong with your ex and your relationship. Remember those explosive rows? Remember their terrible moods? When you take time to remember your ex’s faults you can begin to see that they weren’t so perfect and that you will find someone who is just as good, if not better.

Forgive yourself

Relationships are hard and people make mistakes. If you feel like the relationship ended and that it was entirely your fault then the chances are you are feeling extremely guilty. Although a certain amount of guilt might be the appropriate way to feel if you cheated for example, you can’t stay feeling guilty forever.

If you have done everything you can to try to make your ex feel as good as they can do about the situation and a good chunk of time has passed, then you need to start to work on forgiving yourself. It may be that your ex may never forgive you, or that you never stop regretting your decision, but it is unhealthy and unfair to stay mad at yourself forever. There has to come a time when you need to accept that what you have done is wrong, but that what’s done is done and you can’t change the fact that whatever happened did happen.

Singles list

Although you and your ex had a modern relationship, there are still certain things you can’t do when you are a couple and that you wanted to try when you were still in a relationship. It may have been going away on an all girls holiday or installing a mammoth pool table in your kitchen.

Now that you are single try to keep a positive mental attitude and make a list of all the things you can do now that you are single. If you can’t think of any, try to make a list of things that you can do now because you have more time on your hands or just write down things that you’ve always wanted to try, but have never got round to doing before. Filling your time with positive new tasks will help you move on and get over your ex quicker and your life may actually improve.