1. Are you a saver or a spender?
Although
we all like to think money doesn’t matter when it comes to love, if
you’re going to get serious with your date you need to know if they are a
saver or a spender and understand how their attitude to money
corresponds to your habits.
How to ask this question:
To subtly ask this question ask your date where they went away this
year. If the location seems to be within their means when you consider
their job then your date is probably good with cash.
2. Are you seeing anyone else?
Establishing
where you stand and what kind of relationship you are in is really
important if you don’t want to end up hurt or hurting your date. Find
out what they think your relationship is to avoid unnecessary confusion.
How
to ask this question: There is no subtle way of asking this question
and it is best to simply ask it directly. Prepare another topic of
conversation though in case the situation becomes awkward once you have
asked.
3. The list
Once you’ve been
dating for a little while and you think you could get serious with your
date it’s time to write down the names of every person you have dated or
slept with. You might think nothing is worth this humiliation, but
finding out three months into a relationship that your boyfriend slept
with your sister and never called her back is not a fate anyone should
have to suffer.
How to ask this question: Watching a
film where a couple write a list of people they dated is a great way to
introduce the idea and will help you to ask this question.
4. Do you have children?
You
would be surprised by the amount of people who don’t ask whether their
date has kids and by how many parents struggle to tell their date that
they have children when not asked.
How to ask this
question: If you want to ask this question you could talk about one of
your friends or relatives who have kids and then after telling a funny
anecdote about their children casually asks your date if they have
children.
5. Why did you break up?
Why
past relationships in your date’s life broke down can reveal a great
deal about your date. Not only can you judge their values from past
break ups, you can also begin to understand any insecurities they may
have inherited as a result of their ex. Remember though, their
explanation for a break up is just one side of the story.
How
to ask this question: Avoid talking about exes on your first few
dates, but after you’ve gone out together four or five times then you
could begin to talk about your own ex and how you broke up. Once you’ve
finished you can then ask about your current dates past break ups.
6. Religion and politics
Religion
and politics are very sensitive topics and in part they are sensitive
because they are important to people. Knowing how your views about the
world correspond will help you understand one another better and help
you judge whether you have a future together.
How to
ask this question: To ask directly what someone’s religious and
political views are can be seen as being blunt and it can sometimes be
best to ask questions about your date’s life and their opinions on
current affairs, which in turn will reflect their religious and
political views.
7. Can I meet your friends?
This
is a very telling question and you need to watch your date’s reaction
closely if you want to understand how they feel about you. If they seem
really keen for you to meet their friends then it’s a sign they really
like you, but if your date seems a little hesitant perhaps they’re not
quite ready for that level of commitment yet.
How to
ask this question: Wait for your date to talk about one of their
friends or what they got up to at the weekend before asking whether you
could meet their friends soon. This will make the question seem less
planned and it will seem more natural.
8. Marriage
If
you’ve got your heart set on tying the knot or if you can’t see
yourself ever wanting to get married then it’s best to share your
opinion on weddings as early as possible. Although the connection you
feel is important, for a relationship to work your plans for the future
have to complement each other, so be honest and share your thoughts
about marriage.
How to ask this question: Chances are
if you’re thinking about weddings then so are your friends. If someone
you know gets engaged or actually has their wedding whilst you are
dating use this opportunity to bring up the topic of marriage.
9. Pets
It
seems like the silliest of things when you begin dating but if your
date is a big dog lover and you can’t stand animals then this may cause a
big problem five years down the line.
How to ask this
question: Ask your date if they have any pets. If they don’t then ask
them why; they may be pet-less because of their circumstances and not
because they don’t desperately want animals.
10. Hobbies
When
they are single, people tend to fill their lives up with friends,
volunteering, hobbies and work. Yet once you start to date someone
seriously you need them to give up some of their activities in order to
give your relationship the time and attention it needs to succeed. Some
people struggle to do this though and it can cause a lot of heartache.
How
to ask this question: Ask your date what the most important things in
their life are and try to gauge whether their sports team is always
going to be number one in their life.
