Although relationships can be based on give and take, they can
also be out of balance. When this happens, one person can give and
another person can take, and this is going to lead to problems.
Normal
However,
this is not to say that either of these people will realize that they
are out of balance, as it could be something that is outside of their
awareness. If one is used to giving more than they receive, it could be
how their life has always been. And if one is used to receiving
more than they give, this could also be how their life has been for as
long as they can remember. The person who always gives could be fed up
with what is taking place, but the person who always receives could have
a radically different experience.
Part of Life
Yet even
though one person can be in a position where they have had enough of
being taken advantage of, it doesn't mean that they will do anything
about it. For one thing, they could believe that it is just how life is. On
the other hand, the other person can be used to getting what they want
and so they might not see any reason why they should change. This is
then part of their life and they will be happy for it to continue.
Reaching Out
As
a result of this, the person who gives is more likely to reach out for
support than the person who receives. This is because they are not going
to be happy with how their life is; whereas the kind of experience that
the other person has can stop them from doing anything. In fact,
they could believe that other people should take care of their needs,
and there will then be no reason for them to change. So if other people
have a problem with their behaviour, it could be normal for them to
dismiss it.
A High Turnover
Through being indifferent to the
needs of others, it can mean that they don't have the same people in
their life for very long. In the beginning someone might not realize
what is taking place and then as time passes, it could soon become
clear. But even if this did have a negative effect on them, it
could be an experience that soon passes. They could believe that there
is nothing wrong with their behaviour, and that other people are the
problem.
Hangers-On
When one is used having people in their
life who generally take, they could find that the same people stay
around. Now, this is not to say that they are always there; what it can
come down to is that they may have been in one's life for quite some
time. At times, one might not hear form them for a few months, and
at other times, they could hear from them a few times in the same week,
for instance. The reason they stay around is not because they
appreciate them, it is because they know they will be there to meet
their needs.
From Time To Time
There could be moments when
one does receive things from these kinds of people, but even if they do,
it is unlikely to make up for everything they have given up until that
point. Nevertheless, it could be seen as a big gesture in their eyes,
and they could expect to receive something back. In fact, this
could be something that only takes place when they want one to do
something for them. It could mean doing something straight after, or
they might expect something a few days later.
The Reason
One
way of looking at this would be to say that one only hears from these
people when they want something. It then won't matter if they want to
spend time with them or need their help, as it won't be possible. It
can then appear as though they no longer live in the same area, or seem
as though they have left the planet. In reality, they are probably
taking advantage of someone else, and until this changes, they could be
out of reach.
Distant
Alternatively, one could get in touch
with them to see how they are doing and they could answer their
question/s, but that could be as far as it goes. They are then happy to
extend themselves as one is giving their energy to them and yet they are
not willing to return the favor. One is then making the effort
to see how they are doing, but they are going to be wasting their
energy. There is also the chance that they will ask how they are and say
about meeting in a few days or in a week.
Flaky
After the
time has passed, one could find that they can't get hold of them, or
they may say that they forgot all about it. They could say that they
will contact them and then this doesn't take place. Clearly, these
are things that can happen from time to time, but this is not what is
being spoken about here. What this relates to is when this is something
that happens on a regular basis.
A Decision
When one is
using to having people in their life who behave in this way, it will be
important for them to think about whether they won't to put up with it
any longer. As all the time they put up with this behavior, there is
going to be no reason for these people to change. It might also be
necessary for one to look into why they put up with, as this could be a
sign that they don't value themselves. Therefore, if they started to
feel better about themselves, they might no longer put up with this kind
of behavior, and this would then create the space for them to attract
people who are different.
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